Resolutions

Here goes my list of LATE, boring and uninspired New Year's resolutions that I do not intend to fulfill but just want to write down for the sake of having that sense of direction, of planning on doing something, albeit imagined. Because who knows, I might re-read this post one day and actually DO it.

1. Study - Our company is offering tuition reimbursement on post-grad studies, so why not grab the chance, huh? But the catch, of course, is I'd have to get good grades to get the full reimbursement, and obviously, I can't take up courses like Masters in Robotics or Interior Design or whatever. So it's the usual fare, not really uber ultra hyped about it, but hey it's free, and some extra knowledge is always a good thing.

Why I should do it: School is a good place to meet people. So if not for the knowledge, then do it for the boyfriend! Ha ha.

Why I should not do it: Because I'd kill myself doing it. I'm averaging only 5-6 hours of sleep everyday, so with school, that would be suicide.

2. Climb Mt. Pulag - Now this, I INTEND to do. If only my officemates are as excited about this climb as I am. I've already bought a really good fleece jacket for a really cheap price (read: ukay-ukay), and I know where to get a Deuter ACT Lite 35+10 SL and a Coleman sleeping bag FOR FREE. I've done my research, all that's left is to contact the DENR superintendent in Benguet and we're almost good to go. So people, where's the enthusiasm? I can't climb the mountain alone!

Why I should do it: Because I am a self-proclaimed taga-bukid.

Why I should not do it: Why not?

 3. Publish my poetry somewhere - Lofty dreams! Of course, the only way to do this is to, first of all, write, and to second of all, write. But of course! So why am I doing so little of this lately? This makes me sad.

Why I should do it: Because life is music and poetry, but is invisible.

Why I should not do it: Because I'm a loser who has lost her muse (why do they call it "muse" anyways?)

4. Save - Shame on me for analyzing other people's money, and yet can't even manage my personal finances well. I was supposed to write down "invest for the future!" but thought that "save" was a more truthful, convenient and practical way to go.

Why I should do it: I'm broke.

Why I should not do it: Because poverty can be romanticized.

5. Dye my hair red - What's with all the wannabe brunettes? Red is the new brown.

Why I should do it: Red is pretty, and because, unfortunately, blue is not allowed as per the HR dress code policy manual (code na, policy pa, manual pa!).

Why I should not do it: Maka-dry ug buhok. Girly dilemmas.

There's supposed to be more, but I'll stick to five for now. The shorter, the better. The more important resolutions are, of course and as always, unwritten.

    

Tatay Manuel

I don't know how to react to this. Just this evening, as my officemate Dan and I were walking along Ayala Avenue to catch a bus ride home, we saw this old man who was just standing in the middle of the sidewalk, clutching his knees with his head bowed down. I thought nothing of it and we just passed him by. But Dan kept looking back at him and when I turned to look as well, I saw that the old man has not moved at all. He seemed to be in pain so we retraced our steps and ask him if he was okay. The old man told us that his leg was hurting him. He pulled up his left pant leg, and we saw a bandage wound around his left ankle. A result of diabetes, he said. When I asked him why he was walking alone at that time of the night, he said that he came to see his former work mates (he once worked as a construction worker) who were currently in Makati Avenue to ask them if they could lend him two thousand pesos. The money was supposed to be a down payment to a funeral parlor, so he could redeem the body of his 12-year old son and give him a proper burial. His son died from food poisoning after having eaten food he picked up randomly from the trash.

His work mates were not able to lend him money and so he decided to just go back home to Cavite. Since he did not have any fare money with him, he was planning to walk all the way to Walter Mart (which was two rides away from Ayala) where the FX shuttles are, and somehow beg one of the drivers there to let him ride for free. How did you get here in Makati in the first place? I asked him. Turned out he was able to hitch a ride on a truck that was transporting vegetables from Cavite to Guadalupe. From Guadalupe, he walked all the way to Makati Ave. 

He really was a pitiful sight, an old man in his 60's or 70's walking alone in the streets of Makati at that late hour. And since leaving him there seemed like a criminal thing to do, we offered to accompany him to Walter Mart and pay for his fare. During the bus ride, we learned that his name was Manual Ibanez Sr. and that he was a widower with two children aged 14 and 10, apart from his 12-year old son who just died. They were children from his second marriage, which accounted for their young age. His son was already 8 days at the funeral home and he was told that he should pay the bill and get the body already, else it will start to rot and smell. Being poor and unemployed, he went to seek the help of various local government officials but was turned down. He even went to the ABS-CBN and GMA Kapuso Foundations, but learned that help would be granted only after his story was aired in TV and donations came in. By the time the funds would be available, his son's body would already have started to rapidly decompose. His last resort was to seek the help of his former work mates which, likewise, did not turn out to be successful. On top of this dilemma, Tatay Manuel was diagnosed with Stage 4 liver cancer and all he wanted was to take his children with him to his hometown in Tacloban, Leyte, so he could die there in peace, and have his relatives take care of his children. He seemed like an educated man because he was able to utter phrases in fluent English while he was narrating his life story. He never asked us for money or pleaded that we help him out with anything.

Dan took his cellphone number and details of where he lived and the name of the funeral parlor where his son was laid. We gave him a little extra cash so he can pay for the FX ride to Cavite and maybe buy some food for himself and his kids when he gets home. I don't know, call me naive but there's just something about old people that moves me. Surely old men won't resort to lying. They're wise souls, aren't they? His story seemed genuine to me.

After we got off at the Pasong Tamo-Buendia crossing, we flagged down a jeepney going to Walter Mart for Tatay Manuel and bid goodbye to him. Dan and I can only look at each other and shake our heads in dismay at that sad encounter.

But then something came up. After arriving home, Dan texted me that Tatay Manuel's story was on the internet. He forwarded me a link to a Facebook page and I saw this:

Renz DadivasREUNIONS QTV-11

October 26, 2011 at 3:51am · 

• GoodDay. Gusto ko lang po humingi ng help. Last week po kasi i saw an old man about 60-70y/o, Name MANUEL G. IBANEZ, SR. passing Makati Ave. & i notice na pahinto-hinto po siya tpos naka yuko while holding his stomach, ayaw nman po tumanggap ng help. Tapos kinausap ko po, he told me na hihingi daw siya ng help sa mga kasamahan niya sa Construction financially, matagal daw kasi process sa Malacanang. Kasi he's dying na po Liver Cancer Stage 4. Ayw niya daw po umasa sa help kahit kaninong matataas kasi wala din naman daw. Ang gusto niya lng po eh mai-uwi ung 8y/o son and wife niya sa Province, nakalimutan ko po Province pero by Barko po ung biyahe. Gusto niya daw po PAMASAHE lng. gusto niya po daw "mamatay" sa province nila. Bibigay ko po present address niya if nag repond po kayo sakin sa Cavite lng po siya. Help naman po please.

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    Renz Dadivas Di ko po kasi alam kung san ako lalapit. sa iba kasi di naman nila papansinin. Thanks po

    October 26, 2011 at 3:52am · Like
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    Trix Tolentino sa Leyte yung province nya..

    October 26, 2011 at 11:01am · Like
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    Madlyn Jazz Merjudio nkita din nmin tong matanda n to.. lalaki mejo matangkad, same story, pero sbi nya gusto nya iuwi yung dalawa nyang anak, ang kwento nya ay namatay n yung wife nya sa cancer... tutulong din dapat kami, buti naisipan namin i-google xa

    November 8, 2011 at 11:57am · Like
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    Madlyn Jazz Merjudio last saturday namin xa nakita, sa may ortigas center sbi nya may liver cancer stage 4, at may taning na buhay nya, 8 days..

    November 8, 2011 at 11:59am · Like

Note that this Facebook post was made last October 2011. I googled some more and even found one dating back to 2010.

S-Kaye TorresDefinitely Filipino

February 9, 2010 at 10:36am · 

• May nakasalubong akong cancer patient kagabi. And my heart has been heavy eversince. Kagigising ko lang. Ambigat sa loob kasi pamasahe lang nya yung naitulong ko kagabi. Kinuha ko yung number, address, at full name nya. Sabi ko kung kaya ko hihingi ako ng tulong. Isa yung DF sa mga naisip ko. Mga ka-DF, eto yung personal info nya. :(
  
  Full name: Manuel G. Ibanez Sr.
  Address: Block 2, Lot 20, Barangay Lumbreras, Alvarez, Cavite
  Number: 0939-228-0433
  
  Lumapit na daw sha sa kung kani-kaninong politicians, sa ABS-CBN, sa GMA. Ang tanging naitulong sa kanya ng gobyerno ay parang certificate na free na yung transportation nya. Eh hindi rin nman cncredit ng mga bus. So please, anyone who could, pakitulungan naman. :(
  
  P.S.
  Illike ko 'tong stat ko para may e-mail notifications ako sa mga magccomment. Please let's do help. Tapos kung may mga ippost kayo regarding this, kindly tag me. Thank you. :(

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  • 2 people like this.
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    Madlyn Jazz Merjudio same story. nakasalubong namin xa n mabagal n ng lalakad pahinto hinto while holding his stomach. nakilala ko rin tong manuel Ibanez na to, sbi nya may cancer xa sa liver at stage 4 na, may taning n buhay nya at 8days nlng bngay sa kanya, nakasalubong ko xa last saturday, masama rin loob ko kasi pamasahe pauwing cavite lng ang naibagay ko at konting pocket money at food, sbi ko i'll send him money para makauwi xa sa leyte with his son and daughter kasi wala akong dalang madaming pera that time... super sad ng story nakwento ko sa frend ko to and he told me n nakilala nya rin to 3 months ago, kaya nagduda ako at naisip kong i google ang namenya, nalaman ko madami n xa nabiktima

    November 8, 2011 at 10:15pm · Like

Like what I said earlier in this post, I don't know how to react to this. Should I be enraged because I was scammed and "victimized" by this old man? I cannot bring myself to say "Beware This Man" because in the first place, he never asked us for help, and if we gave him some money, we did it out of our own free will. He never should have made up those stories, yes, he was at fault with that, but can we really blame him for what he did? What with the neglect our government is showing to the poor in this country? Tatay Manuel probably deserved that money more than I did. I would have probably just spent it on greasy, unhealthy food or on a fancy item at the mall that I don't need. I do not regret being scammed.

Saturn Return: Phase 1

"...destination unknown, invasion like a nervous election...orbiting a 24-track, waiting for saturn to come back..."

So goes a line from my second favorite song from the Erasherheads. I think that if I have a grossly overplayed, oversung, overhummed track, this would be it. And now, as I think about it, it makes for a beautiful soundtrack for my coming 27th birthday (gasp), my shamefully self-proclaimed Saturn Return phase.

In astrology, Saturn Return is a phenomenon wherein a transiting planet Saturn returns to the same point in the sky that it occupied at a moment of a person's birth. It takes roughly 29.5 years for this planet to come full circle, and astrologers believe that at this point, a person crosses over a major threshold and enters the next stage of life. Alright, so I'm not yet 29--but for some reason, I feel that my Saturn is special, and is about to complete its first orbit very soon. Three weeks to be precise. But that's just me trying to manipulate the universe.

So what kind of "crossing over" is necessary for this Saturn Return? It's actually kind of scary when you try to read up on it: giant leap from youth and into adulthood, a staggering awareness of mortality, crossroads, rebirth, change. Words as big as planets in the Milky Way. There's talk about being face-to-face with your greatest fears and having to make your most life-altering decisions. I honestly have no idea how to deal with these things (which brings me to the question of why I even proclaimed this year as my Saturn Return year in the first place). And I don't want to force myself into having that wake-up-call-slash-coming-of-age moment just because people are now expecting me to have a definite life course by the time I'm nearing my 30's. Society seems to have little tolerance for unpredictability, especially for women. Sad but true.

At this age when most of my peers are already married, or are raising children, or having successful careers, there's this huge, invisible question mark constantly looming over my head. Where to? What's next? Sometimes these questions are met with dread, sometimes with anticipation. But always, there is the happy thought that the best is yet to come. That I haven't yet achieved my full potential only hints that better days are coming. And so 27, 28, 29--let those numbers come. I'll hop on the next space rocket to meet Saturn when he flies by.