Martyr's Lament

Real. Damn. Tired. I am not here typing these words, I am the words and the motion of typing and yes I will make sure to look into it tomorrow so kindly please just dissolve into the wall and let me type and imagine all types of things I would say if I only could say what was in my head for the longest time without feeling ashamed or guilty about saying something that I should should not say, at least out loud, and without having that remorse that everything I say today will probably not mean a thing tomorrow. And when I think about these things, I remember something that someone told me a long time ago which is never put off doing tomorrow what you can do today, or did someone really tell me that or was it just a dream or was it just the collective creed of a hundred plagiarist writers who call themselves anonymous, but either way it leads me to thinking further on that if we never put off doing everything if we can do them today, then sooner or later we will run out of time and the universe sure as heaven and earth will not give us another hour on top of the twenty-four hours given us to do everything we need to do and everything does not even include the time spent on necessary non-essentials like sleeping and crapping, and when we do run out time we can only wish that we can go out and pawn our stuff to buy a day like Justin Timberlake did, but then the truth hits us and we realize that it's a quarter past a half past twelve and oh the words are spilling out of my fingertips like there's absolutely no tomorrow.

Response

You say I am lazy but the truth is I am

Afraid of the flare of the lamp that gropes

For my eyes, terrified of the endless

Catastrophic pillows that smother my dreams

While wide awake at two A.M

Staring at curious shadows

That clamor to be vulgarized

Unsure of who or when or where

And why.

The world is governed by chance

Is not a cute adlib.

It is a war cry.

A Necessary Evil

People take one look at my newly cropped hair and ask--did I just break up with somebody? Isn't it just the most natural thing for a girl to do? Like what Bea Alonzo did in One More Chance?

Well, I'm not spilling any beans here, but my cutting my hair short is as simple as it is complicated. For a girl, it is always a major event. As if the hair has a soul of its own, and snipping it off is equivalent to cold-blooded murder.

I miss my long hair. I miss the absolute freedom of being able to flip it, twirl it, let it hang loose on my shoulders, gather it in a nice ponytail, bubble it up in the shower, or just pull at it when I'm feeling stressed out. But I've been wanting to don short hair (again) for quite some time already, so I chopped it all off. But I miss it now.

Knowing these things, if I could turn back the hands of time, will I still choose to cut my hair? I would say it is inevitable. There would have been no other feasible option. Even if I will regret it later on, I will still choose to do it because I know I would be forever restless if I didn't.

I find it cool and sad and amusing that you have to lose something first before you can begin to love it.

Oh well.

I Am My Own Worst Cliche

'Nuff said. Let the cartoon be a warning.

(or maybe I should just open my own Twitter account and heap my rantings there since that's what everyone does anyway)

Unwritten

Sometimes

The most profound moments,

The biggest victories,

The subtlest emotions,

The craziest revelations,

The best conversations,

The greatest love...

These are the most unwritten.