Censored

At a barbecue grill/acoustic bar on Friday night:

Boy: I hope you don't mind if I sit here. I'm (insert name here). You are?

Girl: (insert another name here).

Boy: (pronounces name wrongly), is it?

Girl: No.. (correct name pronunciation).

Boy: Oh, I see.. (utters girl's name correctly, finally)..

Girl: (nods)

(dead air)

Boy: You have a nice name.

Girl: I know.

Boy: You're in the same department with (common friend's name--common friend is sitting right next to Boy), right? Are you her boss?

Girl: Yes and No.

Boy: (laughs for no apparent reason).

Girl: Ikaw? Sang department ka ba?

Boy: Down in (particular floor in the building). I'm with (so and so manager's name) team, handling (so and so designation). Hey...I like this song (moves his head in tune with the beat of the song playing loudly in the background)..

Girl: (turns to face another friend sitting on the other side, talking in their local dialect)

Boy: (after girl turns back to look at him) Oh, from what province are you?

Girl: (province)

Boy: (incredulous look) Really? You don't have the accent..

Girl: Meron yan. Maingay lang kase kaya di mo marinig.

Boy: I swear, it's not halata.. (Province), right? Hey, that's great! I've been there before with some friends. We went to this beach in, you know, (locality)..We stayed in (leisure hotel) for 5 days. We also came to watch the (festival/mardi gras).

Girl: Ah okay.. Nanood kayo ng street parade?

Boy: Ah no. We just went to the after-parties. Inuman with my friends. We just saw, like, the last 5 minutes of the last street dance.

Girl: That's bad. You went to watch the (festival/mardi gras) but you never actually saw (festival/mardi gras).

Boy: I don't mind. (takes a gulp of his beer). Hey.. is it true that (women from the girl's province) are notorious drinkers?

Girl: What makes you say that?

Boy: Hmm, well, I just noticed. They drink all night. Hanggang morning. Grabe kung mag party..

Girl: (shrugs) I dunno.

Boy: (takes another sip of his beer)

Girl: It depends, I guess.

Boy: On what?

Girl: On the company.

Boy: Ahh..

(silence)

Boy: We also went to the (famous local landmark). Yun lang pala yun.. I mean, like, no offense, I thought it was this great historical structure, pero well (slight laugh), it was kinda just ordinary-looking lang pala.

Girl: Disappointed?

Boy: Oh, no. Syempre you must be proud of it (crooked smile). But I love the (famous local delicacy).

Girl: (takes a sip of water).

Boy: Hey..sobering up?

Girl: I'm thirsty.

Boy: Oh by the way, have you ever been to (popular destination in Luzon)? We went there, like, a couple weeks ago. You should make pasyal there sometime.

Girl: Excuse me, I just need to go the ladies room. (exit)

End.

The moral of the story? When somebody mispronounces your name, it's usually a bad omen.

   

I Am My Own Worst Cliche

'Nuff said. Let the cartoon be a warning.

(or maybe I should just open my own Twitter account and heap my rantings there since that's what everyone does anyway)

Unwritten

Sometimes

The most profound moments,

The biggest victories,

The subtlest emotions,

The craziest revelations,

The best conversations,

The greatest love...

These are the most unwritten.

Saturn Return: Phase 1

"...destination unknown, invasion like a nervous election...orbiting a 24-track, waiting for saturn to come back..."

So goes a line from my second favorite song from the Erasherheads. I think that if I have a grossly overplayed, oversung, overhummed track, this would be it. And now, as I think about it, it makes for a beautiful soundtrack for my coming 27th birthday (gasp), my shamefully self-proclaimed Saturn Return phase.

In astrology, Saturn Return is a phenomenon wherein a transiting planet Saturn returns to the same point in the sky that it occupied at a moment of a person's birth. It takes roughly 29.5 years for this planet to come full circle, and astrologers believe that at this point, a person crosses over a major threshold and enters the next stage of life. Alright, so I'm not yet 29--but for some reason, I feel that my Saturn is special, and is about to complete its first orbit very soon. Three weeks to be precise. But that's just me trying to manipulate the universe.

So what kind of "crossing over" is necessary for this Saturn Return? It's actually kind of scary when you try to read up on it: giant leap from youth and into adulthood, a staggering awareness of mortality, crossroads, rebirth, change. Words as big as planets in the Milky Way. There's talk about being face-to-face with your greatest fears and having to make your most life-altering decisions. I honestly have no idea how to deal with these things (which brings me to the question of why I even proclaimed this year as my Saturn Return year in the first place). And I don't want to force myself into having that wake-up-call-slash-coming-of-age moment just because people are now expecting me to have a definite life course by the time I'm nearing my 30's. Society seems to have little tolerance for unpredictability, especially for women. Sad but true.

At this age when most of my peers are already married, or are raising children, or having successful careers, there's this huge, invisible question mark constantly looming over my head. Where to? What's next? Sometimes these questions are met with dread, sometimes with anticipation. But always, there is the happy thought that the best is yet to come. That I haven't yet achieved my full potential only hints that better days are coming. And so 27, 28, 29--let those numbers come. I'll hop on the next space rocket to meet Saturn when he flies by.

Mind Puzzles

Harry: Tell me one last thing. Is  this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?
Dumbledore: Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean it is not real?

- JK Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows


No one has ever successfully mapped the human mind in its entirety. I am not up-to-date with the latest medical journals or texts, but in my humble opinion, I don't believe anyone can. The mind is a jungle--no--an entire universe with secret galaxies and wormholes too complex and intricate to be contained in a scientific study. One cannot just say the cerebrum is responsible for this or the medulla oblongata is responsible for that. If we could pinpoint with laserlight precision how our brain responds to every stimulus, every situation, or how it aids or interferes with our day-to-day behaviors and decisions, then perhaps treating psychotic illnesses like schizophrenia will just be easy as taking a pill to cure a headache. There would be no need for psychiatrists, no need to fret if someone battles with chronic depression.

Our mind can become a traitor and turn itself on us. It is the scariest place to get trapped into.

I was surprised to find out that about three in every 100 people experience a psychotic episode at some point during their lives. That's just the same proportion as, say, the number of people in the world who speak Arabic. Not very uncommon. And early symptoms can be as simple as having difficulty expressing emotions or lacking motivation and becoming socially withdrawn. One can easily dismiss these as just "having the blues." That could perhaps be the worst thing--seeing someone you love withdraw from people, and you just shrugging it off, perhaps even getting annoyed by it, not knowing that this person has been slowly inching his/her way into an inescapable world.

Psychosis has different types and not all lead to the popular image of knife-wielding whackos we usually see on TV. The disease is often feared and misunderstood. What we don't know is that many of these instances of psychosis are just mild and last for a brief period of time. They are very much curable by drugs and simple behavioral therapy, and often will not re-appear again. Most patients afflicted by mild psychosis will be able to lead fairly normal lives after treatment.

Ultimately, however, the best cure for this will still be the unfailing support of family and friends. No one can contest the power of the human bond. A gentle touch, a reassurance that things will go back to normal-happy-kalog mode after all the treatments are over, I believe, will do miracles.

To our dear friend, just hang in there. We know you are strong. Let's have a slammin' good party once you're back. :)