29 August 2012

Censored

At a barbecue grill/acoustic bar on Friday night:

Boy: I hope you don't mind if I sit here. I'm (insert name here). You are?
Girl: (insert another name here).
Boy: (pronounces name wrongly), is it?
Girl: No.. (correct name pronunciation).
Boy: Oh, I see.. (utters girl's name correctly, finally)..
Girl: (nods)

(dead air)
Boy: You have a nice name.
Girl: I know.
Boy: You're in the same department with (common friend's name--common friend is sitting right next to Boy), right? Are you her boss?
Girl: Yes and No.
Boy: (laughs for no apparent reason).
Girl: Ikaw? Sang department ka ba?
Boy: Down in (particular floor in the building). I'm with (so and so manager's name) team, handling (so and so designation). Hey...I like this song (moves his head in tune with the beat of the song playing loudly in the background)..
Girl: (turns to face another friend sitting on the other side, talking in their local dialect)
Boy: (after girl turns back to look at him) Oh, from what province are you?
Girl: (province)
Boy: (incredulous look) Really? You don't have the accent..
Girl: Meron yan. Maingay lang kase kaya di mo marinig.
Boy: I swear, it's not halata.. (Province), right? Hey, that's great! I've been there before with some friends. We went to this beach in, you know, (locality)..We stayed in (leisure hotel) for 5 days. We also came to watch the (festival/mardi gras).
Girl: Ah okay.. Nanood kayo ng street parade?
Boy: Ah no. We just went to the after-parties. Inuman with my friends. We just saw, like, the last 5 minutes of the last street dance.
Girl: That's bad. You went to watch the (festival/mardi gras) but you never actually saw (festival/mardi gras).
Boy: I don't mind. (takes a gulp of his beer). Hey.. is it true that (women from the girl's province) are notorious drinkers?
Girl: What makes you say that?
Boy: Hmm, well, I just noticed. They drink all night. Hanggang morning. Grabe kung mag party..
Girl: (shrugs) I dunno.
Boy: (takes another sip of his beer)
Girl: It depends, I guess.
Boy: On what?
Girl: On the company.
Boy: Ahh..

(silence)

Boy: We also went to the (famous local landmark). Yun lang pala yun.. I mean, like, no offense, I thought it was this great historical structure, pero well (slight laugh), it was kinda just ordinary-looking lang pala.
Girl: Disappointed?
Boy: Oh, no. Syempre you must be proud of it (crooked smile). But I love the (famous local delicacy).
Girl: (takes a sip of water).
Boy: Hey..sobering up?
Girl: I'm thirsty.
Boy: Oh by the way, have you ever been to (popular destination in Luzon)? We went there, like, a couple weeks ago. You should make pasyal there sometime.
Girl: Excuse me, I just need to go the ladies room. (exit)

End.

The moral of the story? When somebody mispronounces your name, it's usually a bad omen.

   



4 comments:

  1. Reading this makes me cringe. This post was a mistake.

    ReplyDelete
  2. so awkward...
    Did this really happen? -_-'

    ReplyDelete
  3. this happened but i am not telling you who girl and boy is.

    pwede ni i-delete? haha.

    ReplyDelete
  4. liking this. don't delete.
    this is one of those raw but true moments.

    ReplyDelete